Just a Girl

2006-06-16T03:54:00.002-07:00

As I must call it, yesterday was the day of insteads.

Instead of attending ROTC, we went to Cathy's house. Instead of talking and planning for our condo, we slept. Instead of going to Ferndale to meet up with the TG people, I (go figure!) slept again.

And I vow never to do that again. Yesterday was a huge waste of time/day.

Did my Acctg hw and its hell. Seriously. If that blockmate who I secretly hate borrows my assignment again for the third time I will tell her upfront that she's a lazy dumb ass and she should be doing her research and thinking of her own. She should not depend her future on copying and her belief of her amazing super capabilities.

OUT.

2006-06-16T03:54:00.001-07:00

2006-06-16T03:54:00.000-07:00

I love Fridays. This is the only day that I can use the computer. Not that my parents have this strict rule of me not using the computer from Mondays to Fridays but if you're like me who studies in DLSU and goes home at around 7pm its impossible already to have extra time to use the internet. Poor me.

I passed my first accounting quiz but I failed the second. Kamusta naman yun? And I also got a low mark on my Inthrop quiz. Goodbye Dean's List? NOOOOO!

So far, I am already really enjoying my stay in DLSU. I'm learning to really love my block inspite of the many hate issues. Basta, I wouldn't enjoy this much if not for my three bestfriends in the block Anj, Kat and Anika whom I truly love and care for. (haha! Love you guys! Take me to the beautiful Boracay..)

However, I still miss high school. Super. Visited Holy a while ago and I can just really say that I missed being there. Everything about it I just love. Well except for the poor facilities compared to DLSU and the uniform thingy. Oh yeah speaking of the uniform thingy, I'm starting to kind of envy those who have uniforms. Its really a dread to wake up in the morning and finding yourself staring in front of your cabinet with nothing to wear.

Simon took my favorite-est violet bracelet that I had when I was in grade4. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Hahaha!

ROTC tomorrow. Yay! Sir Favis is the best. :)

2006-06-04T01:44:00.000-07:00

haven't blogged for a week. i think.

many things happenning with me but i can't remember all. i super miss high school. i miss the berna in high school. i haven't changed in terms of attitude but i miss my noise. hay. everything's diff when you get into college. queen bees turn into losers and losers turn into queen bees. but that does not apply to all. just an observation. :)

shifted to rotc. no regrets. im happy that i'm with anika, kat, anj, cathy and sasa.

OUT.

2006-05-28T03:23:00.000-07:00

ISA KANG MALAKING ULUL. I never liked you anyway.

College is seriously fun. I'm loving my block so much.

=)

2006-05-21T01:28:00.000-07:00

It was just like yesterday that I'm really excited about high school. I remember that day when I first wore my long-sleeved uniform. Man, it felt hot but it felt great. For me it was like the passage to my teenage years. High school was great. My first year was really rough. Teachers hated me for my very "presko" and "bastos" attitude. I allowed my bad attitude and laziness get in the way of my studies. I had a lot of crushes. Second year came and it was really great. I changed and I now had a barkada. I developed friendship with different people. I would never forget my section and of course, PEP/DABAMM. They were my second barkada. Lahat sila Dos, except me. They really taught me to be better, less pa-cute and less sensitive. They injected humor in me. As in simula second year, natuto na ako humirit. Thanks to Alya and Dichi. I also had some misunderstanding-s with a lot of people. Third year came and the bitch in me came out. Izell and I were unstoppable. People hated us, we hated them back. We talked about people behind their backs and laughed our asses out. We were inseperable. However, those people I had misunderstanding-s with came to be my friends. Who would have thought that Anjo and I would be really good friends? Crushing on Joe (haha!), watching a play instead of finishing the newspaper project for Journ and drinking alcohol together. Fourth year is incomparable. This year, the real Berna came. I became close with a lot of people. I came to know all my friends really well. Nikko, Acy, Cam, Leo, Jo, Gec, Kaye and Yeye became my groupmates. We were always unprepared but we always finish first, beating the other patrols hands down. (HAHA. Kidding) Nikko became my mentor. She guided me all year. Our Pinoy cramming and reading Gabay sa Pag-aaral ng El Fili before Pinoy class was like our bonding moments. I love Nikko. Acy and Laia. My forever friends. My room mates during our retreat. My love advisers. My classmates. My laugh trip mates. My poptarts addicts. My sex talk mates. My buddies. And lastly, my barkada. They made this journey/odyssey a lot easier. We may had a lot of misunderstanding-s, troubles, fights but we always manage to fix things up. I love you guys. This is cheesy, but friends forever dapat ah? haha.

And tomorrow is the official start of classes in DLSU. The start of adulthood. I don't know if I should be excited or not. College would not be as fun as high school, but I'm with Anjo, Kaye and Sasa so I'm sure that college wouldn't be that sad for me. Tomorrow should be good. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Hehe.

When losing and leaving come hand in hand, there will be a place you can come to, in time.

HATE.

2006-05-18T01:06:00.000-07:00

I hate it when I can't get what I want. I hate it when my parents treat me like a baby. I hate it when people think their so cool even if their not. I hate it when people try to make me feel bad and incapable. I hate it when I'm bored. I HATE EVERYTHING. Well, maybe except some things and some people and Topher Grace.

I really, really can't wait for classes to start. Man, it kills me that I'm always here at home doing zero-brain activities. RAR.

I need a haircut. My hair grows too fast. Tsk. And I need lotsa money. And I need my parents to trust me and treat me like an adult. I'm not 13 anymore. I was really, really immature when you left me but I have really grown you know. Dealing with everything without you here taught me a lot. Ahh. Allow me to commute and I'll be happy. Allow me to live with my friends in a condo will make me much, much happier. Just stop treating me like a baby. Thank you.

If only I have the guts to tell them this. Hay. =(

2006-05-14T02:40:00.000-07:00

I'm loving La Salle. Cam't wait for May22. I just really, really wish that there would be no more rain when classes start.

I have new friends. Haha. :)

Ang sabaaaaaaaaw ko. Punyeta.

God is good..

2006-05-01T01:32:00.000-07:00

ALL THE TIME. He heard my prayers and tomorrow, May 3, I am going to La Salle to enroll. Goodbye yucky MC. Haha. I'm so mean. And tomorrow, I think, magiging legal na ko sa pagcocommute. But still, I will be riding with Anj, Monic and Kaye going to my university. Haha. It feels good to be a La Sallian. I wonder what Anj and I will wear for the corporate attire thingy in La Salle. Hmm.

I'm so excited.. I just can't hide it.

Thank you God. :)

God Bless you all! Mwah!

Wishing and Hoping

2006-04-25T02:15:00.001-07:00

I'm not going to DLSU anymore. :( My parents want me to study in MC and its fucking sad and its fucking killing me. I can't sleep and I can't eat and I can't concentrate and the list of I can't-s goes on and on. I hate myself. I hate my life. You see, I'm now a better person; I love my parents, I have faith, I HAVE CHANGED. And this is how life repays me. It's just plain evil. I have my own faults and their reasons are super valid and if you just know what the reasons are, you'll definitely understand them. I am just in this state of total depression. It feels like my happiness is deprived from me. Last night when I was praying the rosary, I was praying it whole-heartedly but then tons of I-should-have-done-this and I-should-have-done thats kept on entering my head. It was really cruel. I was trying to concentrate but this thoughts kept on ruining my prayer. Imagine you are eating and all of a sudden there is this bee that keeps on flying in front of you. That was how it felt. And it was bullshit.

Anyway, Im still wishing for a miracle. That they change their minds and enroll me in DLSU after hearing my assurances to them. I just wish. Oh guys, I need your help. Seriously.

2006-04-25T02:15:00.000-07:00

Shit. I can't help it but be jealous. Don't want to think and talk about it anymore. It just makes me feel bad. And unworthy. And useless. And stupid. :( AHHHHHHH. I am a very ill friend. I don't deserve to be called that.

There are still a lot of things to be happy about anyway. There's La Salle which I am very excited about because a lot of my closest friends are there (Sasa, Kaye, Ye, Fe, Anjo, Pao, Anj). My brother in Bora is another good thing. My father being open with me and my mother still loving me makes me feel special in a way. Ate Bing leaving the house is kinda ok. But not so ok. Moving to another place and having a completely different lifestyle is great. Learning how to use photoshop is cool. Having a renewed faith and trusting and loving God is the best thing that ever happened to me yet this summer. I'm starting to love life right now.

Hi Vianne Marie (special request). Bakit pag kasama ka ni Bon lagi nya naiiwan ang susi sa loob ng condo nya? Haha.

2006-04-22T05:29:00.001-07:00

Thanks to blogspot, somehow, I get updated with my friends . How lame. I miss my batchmates. I miss my barkada. I miss sandiwa. God, I really should have made the most out of my high school life but instead I chose to screw it up. Hay. Reality check: I can't turn back time. Which leads me to another interesting question: What does life have in store for us? Time flies so fast. It was just like yesterday (shit. i sound lola) that I'm wearing a short sleeved tan uniform and now I'm just anticipating first day of school in DLSU (which is on May22 btw. The joy.) After three years of studying and killing myself, I will graduate and after that, now what? Where will I work? Will I be successful? Will I earn lotsa moolah? Will I be the bitch that everyone hates in the office? And the most impt question of all is, will I be happy with my life?

Oh shoot, i realized that I will be graduating college first before my brother (who is 4 years older than me). No, he's not taking up medicine or law. That is just the price he pays for being a slacker. Tapos gusto pa nya mag-nursing. Good luck. What will become of him? Oh God help him.

I'm moving. Goodbye Granwood. Hello One Burgundy! :)

2006-04-22T05:29:00.000-07:00

I love Izell. She's like the sister I never had. Wait. She is my sister. Haha.

Us wearing green is not planned. Its what we call destiny. Haha.

2006-04-14T00:43:00.001-07:00

I never really planned to watch this but due to extreme pressures of a little girl, I gave in. It wasn't that bad after all. In fact, I kept on laughing the whole time. Just thinking about the antler who thinks she's a possum kept me laughing.

It was really hilarious. Believe me. Few movies amuse me and this one did.

Food.. Glorious food. Haha. I want to watch it again. Anyone?

Never mind if Ryan Reynolds was fat and a jerk in the beginning. It was still funny anyway.

The Ashlee Simpson look a like really did make Janna and I hurt each other while laughing our asses out. Haha.

Amy Smart is not pretty.

I want to watch more. Its been 3 weeks of vacation and I have only watched 2. More movies and more trips to the mall. More money to waste. Haha.

*Hoy Assiel Rae Asanza! Ehem. Magparamdam ka! Isa ka pa Samantha Gayle Dimaliwat! At Monina David.

dito tayo sa dilim

2006-04-14T00:43:00.000-07:00

Dreaming of a complete stranger telling you upfront that she hates you is bad. How about dreaming of someone you know that hates you telling you upfront that she hates you? Terribly ill. No matter how much I tell myself that I can't please everyone, it still drives me insane that some people just don't find me likeable.. at all. The more the pain when they don't like you for a friend for some apparent reason. In the past I did not care of being liked. It was never a big predicament for me. I just went on with my life thinking that oh yeah shit happens and its a natural phase in everybody's life. However at this time, being accepted and liked is all what matters to me. I want them to be so pleased with me, if not, just be pleased enough to like me for their friend. I need them to see a good side of me. I have committed so many mistakes in the past. I was a total bitch to their friend. I have changed and so is she. We became better (not bitter, mind you). Then again what can I do but just write about it and convince myself again and again that I can never please them.

I guess being liked is a tough job for a tough bitch like me. Hehe.

This Jacket is love. <3

2006-04-13T03:12:00.001-07:00

Hay. Someone buy me this. Please? Ehem. Grad Gift. Ehem. Haha. Joke.

2006-04-13T03:12:00.000-07:00

I deleted ALL my entries.

A "new" life means trashing all the bad memories.

Goodbye. :)